Hopes and Impediments, an autobiography as requested by Peter Lual Deng The look in my grandma's eyes (Mother of My Mother) during that dark hour continues to explain why I am what I am today. My resilience, mistaken for Stubbornness because I was a helpless child by then, was seen as a great weakness in the face of the Dinka patronage and masculinity. Looking at my tiny frame, and the bravery I was showing, what they call a brave heart...only my grandmother knew I was going to grow strong and thick! "We are not a family of tinies, Gong Nyandie will be bigger than all of you," my grandmother used to brag, whenever they call me tiny! And even my mother has recently (8 years ago) bragged about family big bones, chocolate skins, medium heights and balanced, straight legs as opposed to slender, bowlegs! Only my grandmother was able to say that failure and ill health shall never pass through my door, no matter what, and that when all seem to fail, it is its time that hasn't come and that my mother should mark those words because ''Gong-amiyok" as she fondly used to call me was still young. I even remember her saying, curse upon those who will curse "Gong Nyandie." It has been 31 years ago. I have gone through a lot and my perseverance has never failed me. I take strength in every setback and I believe the spirit of my grandmother will always protect me, my aspirations and hopes... In this regard, I can say that some people can be walking books, one just needs to slow down to understand them. When I look back, I see that I am not failing. Like a snail, I am growing, slow by slow, every day, in spirit, in stature and in health. I don't mind if anybody has bypassed me in all these things. What matters is not the speed, it is about scoring that goal.